The tumblr'd and the dead

It's possible that you too are a rabid internet connoisseur and you've seen images listing different zodiac signs, perhaps dividing them into "squads". Personally, I find these to be hilarious and entertaining. I love it when they take something super specific and then proceed to list 8 out of the 12 signs of the zodiac as belonging to that squad.

Did I lose you? Have some samples:

This one is pretty damn accurate.

Inertia is a property of matter and a pain in the ass

Anybody can get stuck in a rut. It's one of the easiest things in the world. Getting out of a slump of a rut is the hard part. Some of us thrash around wildly, trying to free ourselves from the sticky muck of life. Some of us give in and let the muck take us. It could be worse, we think. Each sign deals with these feelings differently and it can take a special strategy to get out of the rut.

Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart! With your powers combined, this is a post.

Each sign has an "element" that goes with it. Earth, Fire, Air and Water. Each sign among them is paired with a sort of energy. Fixed energy is akin to potential energy. A person under a fixed sign is more than just stubborn, when their mind is made up they are immovable.  Cardinal energy is more like kinetic energy. A person under a cardinal sign is very busy. Very busy telling you what to do, mainly. Mutable energy is a bit more of a wild card. A person under a mutable sign doesn't mind giving and taking in interactions. They're okay with being the one who tells others what to do as well as taking orders occasionally.

These different energy types match with an element in each sign. Each match gives a sign it's main characteristics that are the backbone of its personality. I usually just talk mess about the signs, so I promise to say at least once nice thing about each sign this time.

It's complicated

Remember the unintentional hilarity of "it's complicated" as a relationship status? It could be just me, but I found it to be hilarious. Complex and vague relationships are definitely in vogue. Who or what are you involved with that gives you mixed feelings? Here's a list of possibilities, based on your Sun sign...

Quick 'n' Dirty Holiday Gift Guide

Shopping season is upon us and it's time to start picking out that special gift for your loved ones. Some people are just flat out easy to shop for. You take them to a place just to "look around" they they just go straight to whatever they're interested in, pick it up and tell you about it. Mental notes are taken, and you're practically done. Some people are really hard to shop for. For whatever reason, you just don't know what the hell they want and a gift card just seems so impersonal. Here's a guide to gift-giving for each sign. Hell, I'll even break it down by price range.

Let's hit it!

Return of the Queen and Break-up Astrology

It's been an age. I went back to school, finished my degree in Special Education, scored the job of my dreams, scored the apartment my dreams and then broke up with the Capricorn that pretty much changed my mind about Capricorns. I am simultaneously the best and the worst.

I plan to continue and finish the Redneck Zodiac series. I've met a lot more in the past few years so I have a plethora of material to work with.

I did my first personal consultation last night for free (I'm really not good enough to charge anything, but my co-worker got a lot out of it and I was greeted with the highest of fives when I ran into him today.) I may consider branching towards that in the future but for now my sassy opinions are for free.

Let's get right to it!

Break-up Astrology! What to expect when you break up with them or when they break up with you!