It's hard out there for an Aries...

I've been an absolute neglectasaurus as far as this blog is concerned.

Naturally, I blame the current astrological forecast. Mars is in Taurus right now and if there was ever an astrological recipe for lazy, that would be it. Mix with egg and flour, bake for 14 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean, dust lightly with confectioners sugar.

Last Saturday I had the fortune to get to see my Aquarian soul-sister after nearly a year. I was so ridiculously happy. It was better than Yule-mas. We had a blast and parted with big hugs and a vow to definitely do this again. (Which if you are a girl, you know usually doesn't mean anything but this time, it was earnest.) Each sign of the zodiac acts a certain way when they meet up with someone who is in the same sign as them.Some are harmonious, some butt heads in ways that the audience of America's Funniest Home Videos could only appreciate.

Below, I cover Aries through Leo with the rest of the soul sisters and soul brothers coming soon!

The Redneck Aquarius

At last y'all! We reach my own beloved Sun Sign. I love my people but I must admit that we are some freaks. Deliciously new agey, sassy folks whose thoughts dance like lightning across the clouds. We are forward-thinking, futuristic, and possess a superficial but over-all friendly love for all of humankind. (If you are an Aquarian who doesn't feel the love, check your chart Fussy Frances, 'cause you might have some Virgo or Capricorn placements with their hands on their hips, tapping their toe impatiently as they remind you that other people are terrible, love isn't real and the moon landing was faked.)

So where the hell does this fit into the buffalo plaid bathrobe of redneckery? Well, I'll tell you...

The Libran Redneck

The Libran Redneck

What first inspired me to start explaining astrological characteristics in the average country citizen was spotting a red pick-up truck. This beauty was a pleasant red Ford, a model from the early to mid 90s. The paint was perfect, not a speck of rust anywhere and on the back window an assortment of stickers. On this trapezoid-shaped window, there were two "FEAR THIS!" stickers one on each side towards the top. There were two small confederate flag stickers, about seven inches below the "FEAR THIS!" stickers. In the middle of this configuration was a large confederate flag sticker. Use your imaginations and it would look something like this.