How to succeed in dating a Capricorn without really trying

I must begin this edition of Unsolicited Astrological Opinions with a warning. I am extremely biased on this particular topic. I'm currently dating a sea-goat and he's the most fantastic man of all time. It takes a lot of my energy each day when someone says something kind about their significant other to not Kanye the absolute fuck out of them. I know full and well if I do talking to me would be a dreadful task, so I don't. Ta dah! Problem solved.

Anyhow, I've revealed one of the biggest secrets of dating a Capricorn male. In the title. For the benefit of everyone, don't EVER chase someone who was born under a Cardinal sign. Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn. If you do you will ruin their fun. Even the sweetie-pie Cancer still has a deep driven desire to impress you, hypnotize you with their personality and draw you towards them (as opposed to chasing you). Please don't ruin someone's good time 'cause then the both of you are gonna have a bad time.

Just don't do it. K?

 

Even the most cheery of Capricorns still sees that fabled "silver lining" on the clouds as being more of an "iron grey" color. How you deal with this is key. Personally, if it seems to be really significant to them I just go with it, if it's just blind pessimism I turn it around with humor. A dear friend of mine, one of the best I have, is a Capricorn. I visited her at work and she started talking about something, she was agitated and angry so I took a chance. I grabbed a sample of some healing balm, put it on my thumb and laid it on her.

Rafiki style! Without breaking eye-contact, I pushed her bangs aside and anointed her forehead saying, "Simba". She burst out laughing and felt much better. It's not that hard to make a friend laugh but when you're dealing with a Capricorn you're up against a little more than someone who's got a case of the "Mondays".

Capricorns are realists and empty promises are about as thrilling to them as picking out a grout cleaner. You can hardly blame someone for acting so wary, cautious and occasionally pessimistic when you notice so many people taking the worst possible path for themselves and not even caring about how the future will turn out because of it. Capricorn is a feminine sign and nearly each and every person born under it possesses the greatest personality characteristic a woman can have, which is self-preservation. Whatever horrifying, disastrous event goes down the Capricorn will have been ready for it for months, years even. They will be ready for the moments in life that are achingly beautiful and filled with joy as well for they have been preparing for those moments just as faithfully.

A Capricorn listening to Bruno Mars' "Grenade" may enjoy the energy of the music but they will spend most of the song thinking the lyrics are ridiculous (although they will totally identify with the music videos imagery of someone dragging an upright piano through the streets as a metaphor for life in general).




Love has nothing to do with sacrificing yourself or anything else but is something that is built upon and made to be stable and long lasting. No grenades allowed. Loving someone who would die for you is seriously over-rated, it's much more fun to live for someone.

That being said, if you find a Capricorn enjoy him or her for goodness sake! They're fantastic and I sure as hell am not sharing.